“…and what is your excuse Roger?” said the detective and the policemen together “We were going for a usual stroll down the promenade. When I say we I mean me and my sister, and out of nowhere crazy things started to happen: flying shrimps, swimming coffee cups, giant kiwis” “we know, we know” said the policemen cutting him off “what exactly where you doing on the promenade on the 4th of April at 5am ….” Whenever that time was mentioned there would be awaked silence.
Walking along the street towards the Trafford Centre she saw people. A lot of people. Some were old some were short, some were young some were tall. Some loomed gradually towards her as she wandered slowly, some seemed to appear more suddenly. All were Mancs.
It was a Saturday afternoon, the Saturday before Christmas. The writhing mass of increasingly desperate consumers was almost impenetrable. Yet penetrate them she did. Gently pushing, moving forward, always forward, slowly, like easing through a poolful of treacle. Every single body with a purpose in mind. They needed to – had to – get those presents. Grandmother, aunts, daughters, and as the clock ticked the suitability of those gifts were compromised to such a degree that anything, anything as long as it’s something, will do.
And so Christmas morning appears, and grandmother eagerly rips open the package, father calmly unfolds the envelope, Uncle Jim cheerily reaches for his brightly covered box. And she breaks into a cold sweat. By now the never stopping clock, the rising desperation, the endless queues are all forgotten. How, just how, could I have thought those awful things would be suitable?
Grimly she watches their faces as those awful abhorrent presents emerge and appear.
* * * * * *
My other stuff is over on the Dead Deer Blog
The Cobweb Cloaked Coven
Brian Kilcline was furious. He’d dressed himself up for the Halloween party, like he did every year, and as one of the club’s elder statesmen, he knew that some of the younger players would be looking up to him. He had to get his costume right, and he did. Every year.
He was, as he’d thought to himself at the time, looking pretty fine. Satin shirt, black, open to the navel? Check. Tight black trousers, just a hint of a flare at the bottom? Check. It was the eighties, after all, not. the seventies. Not any more. Little trickle of blood in the beard? Check. It was the details that mattered, after all. Majestic hair swept back, gelled in place, with just a hint of the vampire beneath? Check. And finally, to cap it all of, a cobwebbed cloak. His wife had put the final stitches in that morning. With that wrapped around him, he really looked the business. A few pints to be sunk, and a good time to be had by all.
And there he was, the next morning, splashed on the back page of the paper, pint in hand, with a couple of his team mates. They were all looking quite good, him especially. The paper was on the mat when he came down the stairs that morning to let the dog out, folded in half.
‘Cobweb Cloaked Coven’
He didn’t even need to turn it over to know what the rest was going to say;
‘-try City Captain Leads The Way’
or words to that effect.
But when he turned the paper over, there was nothing. A misprint, or something. Half a picture, half a headline missing. And if it was missing on his paper, then it would be missing on everyone’s. What was the point in making all that effort, only for the local rag to screw it up?
He was still standing on the doormat, misprinted paper in hand, when the phone on the table b6 the door rang. It was Cyrille Regis.
“Brian? What’s a ‘Coven’?”
Brian Kilcline was furious.
It was a pleasant evening “where shall we meet again?” said the witch 1 “when the time is over and the galaxy is falling” and with that they flew away in to the late night sky.
5 MONTHS LATER: “Haaaa” said the king his joker did another trick ,it was late at night and they were having a big feast the room was filled with the sound of laughter and joy but not for everyone, the princess was crying her eyes out because she knew the king was doing bad things to the people of the town .