Today it was a picnic under the Humber Bridge, twenty plus years ago. Yesterday it was a hall in a YMCA we visited just once. This morning it was a corridor we walked down once to a cafeteria, not sure where. Odd remnants of the past often pop into the mind unexpectedly. However, with the stress my mind has been under recently, along with all the self obsessing and reflection I have been doing, it is happening more frequently and more vividly than ever before.
That pancake restaurant in Krakow. The Sorting Office in Alfred Gelder Street. Ice creams with the kids on the north Norfolk coast. A pavilion dressing room of a place I only played at once. So vivid I am suddenly walking in there again, nervous of course. Unsure of myself. On my own, I haven’t thought of these things in years. I didn’t even know I remembered them.
That bar in a town in Spain we lived in for a couple of years but only visited once. We are at the bar again, and I’m slightly, very slightly, drunk and eating a circular and way too large sandwich. I didn’t remember it before but now I can taste the food, the texture of the bread as if it were in my mouth in this very moment. We didn’t finish it, not even close.
What will be next? These are not windows I choose to open, I do not even choose when to open them. They come. Tony Benn striding through the entrance at The House of Commons as we wait our turn to sit in the Stranger’s Gallery. We. Ninety-nine percent of these odd and unbidden memories are of ‘we’.
Time to close the windows; it is getting cold.