In The Midst Of Sadness and Despair – Dead Deer

In The Midst Of Sadness and Despair

Calm now. A calmness surrounds, for the most part. And each time it descends it seems it is over. A corner turned. Then something brings it out again, a date, an event, a location, a memory, a thought. And once more stepping into the sadness and despair, the soul emptying misery that is a persistent companion.

For now, though, in the midst of this sadness and despair, a moment of calm. And yes. The storm seems to be abating, slowly and with many heavy squalls still. The bubble is delicate, but it weathers the day-to-day, puncturing only on the fierce spike of reality. And suddenly surrounded at these moments once more, like a dense, crushing cloud. Maybe it is a room, a round room. It spins and there is no way out, and no way forward, and no way to control anything.

The round room, yes that is it. In its midst there is a hopelessness: a grim grey space where hope should be. Yet hope? Does hope help, can it assist in protection from the sadness and despair? No hope merely feeds it; it is air flowing onto to a fire just as the never-changing hurt is the fuel.

So here I sit, calm, fine, better, progressing, but still in the midst of sadness and despair.

Today I wrote from 23:47 to 23:57. I was prompted by an idea here. My other writings here. All my prompted writing here, and my tweets here