Mar 7th – Self-centered situations

March 7th – Self-centered situations


“How do you spell it?”

“Centred. C-E-N-T-R-E-D.”

“That’s not what it says here.”

“What does it say, then?”


“What, at the end?”


“Ahh. That’s the American spelling.”



“So is it wrong, then?”

“Well, it’s not exactly wrong, but – ”


“But – well – actually it is.”

“It’s wrong?”

“Yeah. It’s wrong.”

“Why is it wrong, though? I mean, it’s not got one of those wiggly red lines underneath it.”

“Wiggly red lines?”

“Yeah, you know. When you spell something wrong. On Word, and that.”

“Well, just because it hasn’t got one of those – as you put it – wiggly red lines, doesn’t mean it’s not wrong. Because, actually, it is.”

“So Americans can’t spell?”

“Well, they can most of the time. Some of them are quite good at it. But there are some words that they always have problems with.”

“Like centred?”

“Yeah, like centred. And other R-E words. Like metre.”

“They can’t spell metre?”

“Nope. Metre, kilometre, centimetre. All of them. Not a clue.”

“Why’s that then?”

“It’s just the way it is. And it’s just wrong. And don’t get me started on aluminium.”

“Why’s that then?”

“Because they say aluminum. There’s too many vowels for them. It’s why they miss out the U in neighbour, and colour, and savoury.”

“They miss out the U?”

“Yep. Every time. Why did you want to know, anyway?”

“Know what?”

“About centred.”

“Oh, that. I was just finishing off my homework. I was asked to describe someone. I chose you, actually.”

“You did? What did you write?”

“I just wrote, ‘My dad is a self-centred grammar pedant, and a total arse at times.’”




Inspired by a prompt from here

2 thoughts on “Mar 7th – Self-centered situations

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