Choices or Chances?
Slowly, as the mellow blurry mist faded, the existential awareness began to sharpen for Jake. The faint, calm, but persistent alarm seeped into his mind, building layers of understanding. The daily renewal had started. Sentient. Human. Bed. Sleep. Day. Jake was back.
Fitfully willing the first movements, as a bobsleigh team does, back, forth, back, forth, and then off! He swings his legs down and sighs heavily as the feet hit the cold floor. Is the day full of promise, or is it full of obstacles, disappointments? Scratching lazily his head, almost like pushing a button, his mind starts to whirl.
A day full of choices.
Every choice a compromise, every decision shaving something away from his life. Not choices he seeks or desires. HIs heart sinks as he stands, his eyes avoid the bathroom mirror. At this hour everything is automatic, the coffee appears in his hand magically, his own being not recalling the responsibility it has in its arrival.
Outside, though, the sun is peeking up. The coffee is strong and uplifting. Jake sits, with eyes closed again, and his mind empties. A sweet emptiness also erupts around his heart. Maybe, just maybe this is optimism. This day, these choices, maybe, just maybe, they could be opportunities, he lies to his own clear mind. Jake allows the thoughts back in, one at a time, carefully, building a delicate layered understanding of what he has to do, and how it could be alright. Perhaps. He knows, truly knows, it won’t be. But he has to survive.
Today, at least.
Today I wrote between 08:48 and 09:00. I was prompted by an idea here.
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